The Santa Clause
Dir: John Pasquin
1994
*
1994's The Santa Clause is about a man who saves Christmas. Hurrah. Except, after the merriment and high-fives are over, Tim Allen still killed Santa right? Aren't the Elves upset or angry about this? Have they no empathy? Are their hearts as cold as the climate they live in? Do they blindly follow a leader like in a dictatorship? Are they actually more like worker Ants than people, because I always thought they were friendly and childlike!? Also, has anyone ever received a wooden soldier as a present before? Elves are always making wooden soldiers but no one ever gets one, I think there is a scam going on. Tree killing fascists. Still, thanks to Eric Lloyd's Charlie Calvin we all know what the greatest Christmas present of all time is.... contraception. I hated every single frame. Merry Bloody Christmas.