Bride of the Monster

Dir: Ed Wood

1955

****

Sadly, I think what most people knew about Bride of the Monster is something that wasn’t true. In the book The Golden Turkey Awards, released in 1980 by Michael Medved and Harry Medved, it was claimed that Lugosi's character declares his manservant Lobo (Tor Johnson) "as harmless as kitchen". This allegedly misspoken line is cited as evidence of either Lugosi's failing health/mental faculties, or as further evidence of Wood's incompetence as a director. Wood already had a reputation for being one of the worst the world of cinema had ever seen but this insulting and hurtful mistake is one of many unfortunate inaccuracies reported that have always damaged his appeal. Lugosi said this line correctly, the exact words being, "Don't be afraid of Lobo; he's as gentle as a kitten." Michael Medved and Harry Medved saw the film in a theater setting with inferior sound quality but still, the inaccurate claim managed to achieve urban legend status, and it keeps circulating. Thank goodness for Tim Burton, as his 1994 biopic of Ed Wood sets much of the record straight and takes a sympathetic and celebratory look at the great man’s work. Bride of the Monster is among the directors better known and much loved films. It took two years to shoot because of budget costs – even though $70,000 was considered pretty healthy back then – but still managed to spawn a large cult following, as well as a sequel that followed in 1959 – although due to even more financial issues, wasn’t released for another twenty-five years. The story involves a mad scientist by the name of Dr. Eric Vornoff who lives in a haunted house, complete with moat containing a giant killer octopus. The police soon begin to get suspicious after many people go missing around the same location of the house and they decide to investigate. They bring a news reporter with them as well as a European intellectual, Professor Vladimir Strowski. The news reporter Janet (the fiance to one of the policemen) is kidnapped by Vornoff’s huge manservant Lobo who takes her back to the house for the doctor to do hypnotic experiments on. Strowski then soon wonders into the house and bumps into Vornoff. It then transpires that Strowski is there to recruit Vornoff to help him continue with his own groundbreaking experiments with atomic energy. Cut to a flashback where Vornoff narrates that two decades prior, he had suggested using experiments with nuclear power which could create super-humans of great strength and size. In response, he was branded a madman and exiled by his country. He suggests that with Strowski’s help, he could find the answers and his country would have him back and regard him as a national hero. Strowski agrees but is in it for himself. However, just as they are about to experiment on Janet, Lobo – who totally has the hots for her – pushes them to one side and rescues the fair maiden. Vornoff then injects himself with the super-strength liquid and he and Lobo have a big akward fight. The police get there just in time to rescue Janet, just as the house is struck by lightening, forcing it to collapse. If that isn’t a good night in I don’t know what is. Vornoff is killed obviously, but as the chief police captain puts it at the end of the film, he had it coming after he “tampered in God's domain.”The total lack of understand of how nuclear power and atoms work is forgivable thanks to the inclusion of giant killer octopus. Lobo is pretty cool too and Bela Lugosi’s performance as  Dr. Eric Vornoff is the stuff of b-movie legend. It’s a great sci-fi horror and like many of its contemporaries, it serves in part as a Cold War propaganda film. Once again, an external threat from "Old Europe" serves as the enemy of the righteous United States. The country of origin for Vornoff and Strowski is left unnamed but Strowski uses the term master race, clearly suggesting that they are a couple of old Nazis. It’s a mish-mash of genres and ideas that steals ideas from Bride of Frankenstien and White Zombie and throws in a giant killer octopus for good measure. It’s awful and brilliant at the same time. It would be the last speaking appearance of Bela Lugosi and the last time he would play a charismatic villain whose megalomania leads to downfall and destruction – the sort of role he is fondly remembered for by his fans. The film is part of what Wood aficionados refer to as "The Kelton Trilogy", a trio of films featuring Paul Marco as Officer Kelton, a whining, reluctant policeman. The other two films are Plan 9 from Outer Space and Bride’s sequel Night of the Ghouls. I would hazard a guess that Quentin Tarantino was a fan. There is something wrong with you if you’re not a fan to be honest, as – as awful as it is – there is an undeniable charm to Bride of the Monster that I and many others, find irresistible.